Wednesday, February 2, 2011

From Bay Area to Bangalore - Month 2

First Vacation:

Went to native place beginning of Jan. Brave decision to take the little terror called Akash all by myself. After many many years I get to meet my entire family in one package. Not taking Akash would have been a terrible mistake. The kid kept everyone extremely amused while driving them crazy at the same time. Overall full time pass. Enjoyed the stay at native after 12 years without having to worry about schedules and deadlines (SIGH!) and the pressure of not being able to cover everyone. Also the thought that I have the option to revisit my people whenever I want, if I want it, is very reassuring even though I may not exercise it anymore than before. Return back with heavy but happy heart.


The brave move:
Made the brave move of moving into a rental place with nothing but floors, walls, cupboards and some lights in it. Senior R2Ier's gave a good dose of moral boosting to take such a rash unreasonable step :). We finish the customary milk boiling and sleeping for 2 days at the new home ritual.Whatever you forget, don't miss all-out and of course a bottle of drinking water. The villa community at first seems a little unfriendly. [Note to self: Don't stare directly at new people's faces if you cannot smile at them or atleast smile back when they smile at you. If you are so curious to look, do it when the other party looks the other way, PULLEEZE.] Managed to talk to 2-3 neighbors. Once you initiate the convo it takes at least 4-5 mosquitoes to bite each party before the convo ends with annoyed swatting sounds. Paid for house cleaning in bulk, in advance. Huge mistake. After 1 US-style managed, and 2 micro managed sessions I decide to finish things on my own.

Busy shopping for vital stuff with little help from Hubby and a lot of help from BIL. I find a lot of variety, better prices than US. Even customer service is not too bad. Delivery is like almost free. All goods are delivered together but installation happens in phases @ different times. School admissions done. Both parents being engineers and of course having the needed green goes a long way in securing admissions. It is important that you try for admissions during Nov-Dec time frame for the next school year.

Traffic is bad. No surprises there. But what is bad about it is the surprise part. There are days when you reach home in 1 hr and there are days when it takes 3 hours. Some idiot driver and his silly mistake in a one lane road can easily make you lose 2 hrs of time with your kids. Sometimes that idiot driver can be your own. Civic sense is bad. The other day a whole bunch of people rushed past my handicapped BIL to get into the lift while I stared in sheer dis-belief. Seeing my expression one of the cousins said pretty audibly "this is not America" and still people carried on with unchanged expressions. I swore to myself I will never become like that.

Second round of general Social Observations:

I observe that people are generally much less offended when you are a local and have all the time in the world and don't visit them Vs. you come from abroad in very less time,are sick all the time and then don't visit them. Common sense dictates the reverse but I come to realize common sense has committed suicide here long back. Attending some distant relatives function is more important than setting up our own house. It is OK not to spend time with kids as long as you get your chit chat time with some general visitors. There is a mandatory obligation to invite atleast a dozen people for a ritual(the necessity of which itself is questionable) that can be easily completed with 4. One cannot question this without being looked upon like an alien outcast.

Food still takes the cake. But then again there is too much of a good thing. It is showing up on my waist. Not too happy about the new found personal growth. Have to curb the urge to splurge.

End of the day, it is just a game of time and patience here. You have to wait out the settling down game. There are no shortcuts or fast tracks to it. You have to suffer through the little pains, few annoying people, the irritating circumstances and unnecessary botheration before you develop a thick skin and start enjoying what is good here. Also one needs to be highly adaptable to change for a while and expect the un-expected all the time. There are days when I dream of my life in SJ and wake up pretty sad that I am not there. I ask myself often, why did I have to throw away a well packaged, perfectly tuned life that was running like clock work and really what is it that I am getting in return. I don't have an answer to that question, at least not yet.